Santa Issues – The Magic Is Your Issue at The Chain Theatre – New York, NY

SANTA ISSUES

Do You Have Santa Issues?

Did Santa bring you the wrong present? Did he forget your house? Or did your parents hire a Santa who turned Christmas into a therapy session?

You think you've got Santa Issues? Try being Santa!

Welcome to Santa Issues, an outrageously funny, delightfully naughty, surprisingly heartfelt, and sometimes dark journey into the life of a professional Santa Claus.

This is NOT your typical Christmas show. And it's definitely NOT for kids!

Stand-up comedian, actor, singer, and professional Santa Claus John C. Guild has spent more than a decade wearing the red suit, listening to Christmas wishes, dealing with questionable parents, and discovering that the most unbelievable part of Christmas isn't the magic. It's the adults.

From children who think Santa knows everything to parents who probably should have stayed on the naughty list, John pulls back the beard to reveal what really happens when someone hires Santa Claus.

Through outrageous true stories, stand-up comedy, theatrical storytelling, original music, unexpected characters, and a few moments that might catch you completely off guard, Santa Issues explores the strange relationship between what we believe, what we want to believe, and what happens when reality gets in the way.

You'll laugh at the absurdity of it all. You might recognize yourself in some of the stories. And somewhere between the naughty jokes and the Christmas magic, you may find yourself questioning something you thought you knew.

Because sometimes the biggest Santa Issues have nothing to do with Santa.

It's a Christmas show for grown-ups who still believe in magic—or at least wish they did.

The Magic Is Your Issue.

About the Show

Santa Issues is an original, adult-oriented, one-man theatrical comedy written and performed by John C. Guild.

Combining stand-up comedy, storytelling, acting, music, and puppetry, the production offers a funny, irreverent, and occasionally thought-provoking look at Christmas, belief, and the human experience.

Whether you love Christmas, hate Christmas, or just have a few unresolved issues with the man in red, this show is for you.

Running Time: Approximately 80 minutes, with no intermission.

Recommended Age: 18 and older.

The Creative Team

Written & Performed by John C. Guild

Directed by Jim Mendrinos

Original Songs Co-Written by John C. Guild & Drew Lawrence

Puppets by Austin Phillips

Music Production by Greg Pajer

Lighting and Sound by Dot Scuotto

Videography by John Rigores 

Creative Development Contributions by Jim Mendrinos, Drew Lawrence, Mary Kenndy, and Charlene Ward

A Very Special Thank You to Sassi Jennifer and The Thousands of People and Dogs I Have Taken Pictures With! Without All of You There Would Be No Stories!

Important Audience Information & Content Advisories

Santa Issues is intended for mature audiences.

This production is not officially rated. However, its content is comparable to an R-rated comedy and is recommended for audiences ages 18 and older.

The show may include:

• Strong language and profanity.
• Adult and sexual humor, including suggestive jokes and innuendo.
• Dark and irreverent comedy.
• Mature discussions of family relationships, childhood experiences, grief, and loss.
• Humor that questions or challenges traditional Christmas stories, beliefs, and religious ideas.
• Emotional and serious moments alongside the comedy.

This is not a traditional children's Christmas show, a family holiday attraction, or a visit with Santa for young children.

Audience members should expect adult comedy that occasionally gets a little uncomfortable, because sometimes that's where the funniest—and most meaningful—stories begin.

VIP Experience — Pictures with Santa on Stage

The show may be over, but Santa's still on the clock!

For an additional $25 per person, join Santa John onstage after the performance for a brief personal interaction and photo opportunity.

Each VIP guest receives:

• An individual photo opportunity with Santa.
• The opportunity for a group photo with friends or family who have also purchased VIP access.
• The opportunity to take pictures using their own phone or camera.

Important: The VIP experience is an optional upgrade which includes admission to the performance. Each participant must purchase a VIP ticket.

This is a brief, organized photo opportunity, not an extended private meet-and-greet.

Venue & Performance Information

Venue: The Chain Theatre Factory Series, New York City

Performance Dates: November 25 – December 20, 2026

Running Time: Approximately 80 minutes.

Intermission: None.

Seating: General admission unless otherwise indicated on your ticket.

Accessibility: The theatre is accessible. Guests requiring specific accommodations are encouraged to contact the event organizer in advance.

Arrival & Late Seating

Please be on time!

To preserve the theatrical experience for performers and audience members, late seating may be denied.

We strongly recommend arriving at least 15 minutes before the scheduled performance.

Photography & Recording

Photography, audio recording, and video recording during the performance are not permitted unless expressly authorized.

Photography is welcome during the designated VIP photo experience.

Refunds & Exchanges

Refund requests must be submitted before the scheduled performance and are subject to the event organizer's discretion.

Submitting a request does not guarantee a refund. Requests made after the performance has begun will generally not be approved.

Any approved refunds will be processed in accordance with Eventbrite's applicable policies.

One Final Question...

When you were a kid, you probably believed in Santa Claus.

Then one day, something changed.

But what if the real question was never whether Santa existed?

What if the real question is... DO YOU BELIEVE?

Santa Issues — A Christmas comedy for grown-ups.

Get your tickets. Bring your sense of humor. Leave the kids at home.